I’d like to think that I’m a fairly smart person who is capable of solving issues with a cool and calm demeanor. I’d like to think that, but, that does not account for when I’m faced with a technology problem. Continue reading
Flickering tree line,
Wind up-ticking the grass,
A dream that consists,
Of nothing but colors,
Purple and gold and red. Continue reading
I believe the slang term for what I am is duck-footed? I’ve heard bow-legged or flat-footed as well. The simplest way to put it is this: if you look down at your feet, and the toes point forward naturally, congrats, you don’t have what I have. If they curve outward, so that your feet point in two diagonal directions, then you do have what I have. Continue reading
Never good enough is our achievements, are they? Always someone else has done more than us. Made more money, written more. Better computers. Knows more about this or that. Has more disposable income? Can afford to buy more Magic cards than you? Continue reading
If I were to put a label on two aspects of my personality, it would be these: I’m tenacious, and I’m an overthinker. And it’s the second thing I’m going to focus on here. I know I worry about stuff that other people just do not linger on, not for a second. “Hitler’s Painting” was an article I did specifically to address an instance of that. I have been told, since a very young age, “you’re thinking too much about this.” Continue reading
I once wrote a post that was perhaps the saddest thing I’ve ever written. It was bitter. It was despondent. A lot of pain placed down as words. That post detailed something that had been a massive concern, a giant sore spot on my emotional landscape. Perhaps my greatest hang up; my most damning worry.
And I thought I’d update you all on that story.
And how it had a happy ending.
Because, believe it or not, I have one now.
I have a girlfriend. Continue reading
High-minded aspirations and delusions of grandeur and self-importance related to art and culture and all aside, I like horror because I like horror. Yeah, I have done posts about how darkness challenges me, how I like to test my limits, but, there’s more to it—even if it is basal in nature.
Horror is fun.
Scaring people, making people shudder, it’s fun. Continue reading
An odd thing happened recently: I got scared.
Now, life scares me all the time. I don’t mean I live in constant fear, but, like, fear of rejection, fear of offending someone, fear of not having enough money, enough time, etc. All the usual stuff that one might more often label as stress or concerns or anxious moments happen to me.
But I don’t mean that. Continue reading
As a nerd, and a “scholar of life” (if I may finally, finally reach peak pretentiousness), I’ve learned an important lesson for people—and artists especially.
And, before I go forward, a warning: It’s hard to apply.
Really fucking hard. Continue reading
Hope floated over her and wished that she could just tell her. Wished she could manifest and regale her with all the new things that would happen. All the beauty and joy.
But, there Karen was, for now, crying in a shopping center. Hiding in the changing room with no interest in putting on the swimsuit that she had taken from the racks. Trying to not make too much sound even as her heart broke at the seams and into so many pieces. Continue reading
I gave up a while ago in the best way possible. I gave up on trying to be something I am not, in a lot of ways. This is a random example, but, for a long time, people always told me to change my hairstyle (and before you imagine it as some funky mohawk or something, it’s just that I have a very generic haircut), and, well, I know myself: I don’t do well with maintaining complex hairstyles. I have on two occasions attempted to wear some expensive haircut and then let it fall apart in days—because applying copious amounts of jell and parting it “just so” is not something I care about. Continue reading
The last post that was not a piece of fiction from me was a tad on the depressing side, so, I figured I’d spin the mood around and deliver something happy while I sort out my shit.
Because, even if I talk like it is, complain, the world is not all darkness and fire—neither is it unicorns and the first bite of an apple on a summer evening as the sun goes down—but there are moments, even if they are fleeting, where one can raise their hands to the sky and say “this, this is the meaning of it all. Right here. Right now.” Continue reading
Writers are solitary creatures, but, I am increasingly social lately. And, in my “travels,” I’ve learned the accuracy of an oft-repeated statement: almost no one has their shit together. People may put on a good show, a front of calm and being collected, but everyone is scrambling and panicked—if only a little.
The most common sign of this I hear from people is sleep deprivation. I cannot believe how many of my fellow twenty-somethings sacrifice sleep. Continue reading
(Originally Posted April 19th, 2017.)
I hate platitudes, don’t you? I feel like they bar the ability for someone to communicate actual helpful words. They are rote and glib and sound good as a soundbite, but often already occurred to the asker of help, so are thus useless.
There seems to be an almost universal box of platitudes for every occasion. Continue reading