The difference between listening to a video and listening to music is staggering. Perhaps not great for my health, but my media intake is pretty steady, and I do a lot of it while I am mid other tasks. It’s the only way I could keep up with all the media that I like and that I need to see as a professional critic (among many other internet jobs I have) but, recently, I have been getting into some intensely mentally active activities.

And the difference is ridiculous. I’ve known that for a long time, that concentrating with a playlist is infinitely more productive than YouTube, but I need to put it into practice more.

It was even worse when I realized while listening to political commentary the underlying anger it caused was making me focus a lot less. Like, to a marked degree.

I was in a game, my favorite game, and I realized that I had been losing constantly. So, I stopped the video, and a cloud immediately lifted.

I instantly crushed my opponent, easily outmaneuvering him in ways that I haven’t been able to do in a long time.

It’s just…fascinating, really. I can’t stand silence. It bugs the shit out of me. I will babble to fill the space, the silence, the emptiness in the air, rather than stew in it. Even just there being a nice clicking clock in the background helps me a lot.

So, I have to fill it, but, clearly, I need to understand that despite my usual confidence that most media doesn’t affect me more than I let it, unless it’s pretty extreme (I’m looking at you, Joker, you brilliant madness that made me flinch so many times) but, clearly, I am affected, my concentration is affected, and battle music inspires me to make effective plays, to be confident in my abilities, to not internally question, and thus actually fulfill my full competence that surely I should fucking have by now after 24 years of living.

And that’s kind of rad, really.

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Special thanks to: Melissa Potter

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