If I were to put a label on two aspects of my personality, it would be these: I’m tenacious, and I’m an overthinker. And it’s the second thing I’m going to focus on here. I know I worry about stuff that other people just do not linger on, not for a second. “Hitler’s Painting” was an article I did specifically to address an instance of that. I have been told, since a very young age, “you’re thinking too much about this.” Continue reading
Some may disagree with me doing this. Some may become alienated as my experiences do not match up to theirs close enough. And some might simply be mad at me for some other reasons that if I were to guess, I’d likely be wrong about it anyway.
I’m gonna demystify creativity. Continue reading
Well, that’s a pretentious title. But I mean it this way: the world is beautiful. Interlocking pieces and ideas and complex words and agreements and dreams made real. I am not an optimist, but like everyone that looks up at the sky, I cannot help but wonder how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Take a person and see a massive complex organism of nerves and blood. Then consider the internal dreams of a human being. The social connections. I believe in a spirit, a soul, to a person—and that’s another layer. Continue reading
I once wrote a post that was perhaps the saddest thing I’ve ever written. It was bitter. It was despondent. A lot of pain placed down as words. That post detailed something that had been a massive concern, a giant sore spot on my emotional landscape. Perhaps my greatest hang up; my most damning worry.
And I thought I’d update you all on that story.
And how it had a happy ending.
Because, believe it or not, I have one now.
I have a girlfriend. Continue reading
There may be days when you find yourself annoyed with people. Where it seems like the only option is to stay inside and not face them. I get it. I’ve been there.
But, people, dear reader, people are worth it. I write sometimes for the sake of my future self so that he might see stuff and recall what happened then. What was important and what is still important. This I think I’m writing for the sake of every shy nerdy awkward person who’s ever felt isolated.
I want to tell them that people are worth it.
People are worth it. Continue reading
Someone once told me that horror writing, good horror writing, often involves writing about what personally scares oneself.
I don’t apply this rule very much.
Partially because I don’t enjoy scaring myself—and partially because my fears are not all that interesting. They are mundane, mostly.
But hey, it’s almost Halloween, let’s have some fun.
I hate/fear/cower from the following. Continue reading
An odd thing happened recently: I got scared.
Now, life scares me all the time. I don’t mean I live in constant fear, but, like, fear of rejection, fear of offending someone, fear of not having enough money, enough time, etc. All the usual stuff that one might more often label as stress or concerns or anxious moments happen to me.
But I don’t mean that. Continue reading
As a nerd, and a “scholar of life” (if I may finally, finally reach peak pretentiousness), I’ve learned an important lesson for people—and artists especially.
And, before I go forward, a warning: It’s hard to apply.
Really fucking hard. Continue reading
I’m pretty sure I’ve hinted or outright said that I am a fan of Magic: The Gathering. But, I don’t think I’ve ever made it clear just how much I love the game. Because of life stuff, I had to spend years not being able to play, and, every few months I got an itch in my soul that would last for days. I had a friend who would come over to play, and it was like stepping back into a magical world that I visited when I was younger.
I missed it so much it hurt. Continue reading
I don’t really know the age group that reads my posts. But, in case you are a young person like me—and you feel stressed out and worried and anxious about your future—I have something to tell you.
People have no idea what they are doing.
Your parents. Your teachers. People on the street. They only know what they bothered to learn. People are talented and knowledgeable, sure—but on only certain things.
Something no one has worked out perfectly is how to be a human on earth. Continue reading
I don’t eat a lot of things. I have a series of complex and intricate rules regarding what I can eat, when I can eat it, and in what quantity. And, as such, it can make eating out—eating at fast-food joints—especially hard.
But, I do have some workarounds. Continue reading
I refer to myself as a “workaholic” because of one annoying tendency I have: it’s hard for me to just have free time. Being my own boss taught me to force myself to work, and work, and work, and then some more. Even if I’m working on personal projects, and not for any of my clients—it changes little.
On the outside, this is not apparent. I have been called “pretty chill” by someone who has been around me for smaller periods of time. I give off an aura of being calm, sort-of bored, and reserved if they catch me at the right times. Continue reading
It’s the oddest thing: while some have rustic aesthetics that cause them to feel nostalgic and comforted, I’ve always had a place in my heart for a little rundown café. You know the ones, right? Linoleum floors? Vinyl seating? A bunch of very tired looking women running around filling coffee cups and taking orders with steno pads? Those ones.
I love those. Continue reading
Okay. So, as you may know, I stay up until around 5 AM most days. I take my coffee at midnight—and don’t expect to wake up until sometime around lunch. Even later than that, occasionally, depending on how hectic my previous day was and what my work schedule looks like.
But, you may not know I call myself a “nightwalker,” and I know many others like me. Continue reading
So, we’ve already gone over before that I am a crazy person who says things that are odd and confusing and based on my own musings. But, because it is a lot of fun for me, I am going to explain some of the word salads that bubble out of my mouth and invite you, yes you, to try saying them in conversation.
Now, I cannot guarantee anything: but I think you might just learn a bit about the people around you. And, perhaps, yourself.
Or just get funny looks. Continue reading