Flash Fiction: Anticlimax

“So, you’re not going to press the button?”

Jim shrugged. “Nope.”

Cathy pursed her lips. She opened her mouth to say something and then did not. She looked at the red button on the table. They’d woken up to it being there in their kitchen.

“But,” Cathy began, “I feel as though we are supposed to do something with it.”

Jim considered the button again, rubbing his chin. He reached out to touch it, finger by finger, then he pulled away. He too felt the odd presence of someone, or perhaps many people, frowning. Continue reading

Advertisements

The Most Annoying Phrases In The English Language

I’ve gone over before that I HATE platitudes. This is for several reasons, including how they are not at all helpful, in the slightest, when I hear them. But, with that said, some of them are so egregious, some phrases and common sayings so irritating, that I felt the need to bitch about them on the internet.

 “You can do it!”

Okay, so, being supportive is nice, and good, and all that is swell—but clichés are clichés. Statements and sentences that come straight out of a hokey anime, or child-friendly animated movie, infuriate me because I feel like I am getting a robot quoting a film.

“I’m sure you’ll find someone.” Continue reading

Flash Fiction: Mood Swings

Ever since James tried to quit using the patch, he’s been having mood swings. I noticed, everyone notices—but we were too polite to point it out to him, and for that, we are probably not nice people. Despite us doing it to be nice, ostensibly.

But you can tell, you can really tell. He’ll walk into our classrooms, and he’ll look all, you know, happy and stuff—has on his yellow mask. Big cheery face with a smile and wide eyes and a sharp chin. But, then, and oh is it fast, he’ll see something else, some minor thing upsets him, and the red mask whips out of his pouch, my God. Continue reading

If I Were A Video Game Character

I didn’t much enjoy the book Ready Player One. It was…fine…I guess. It did give me a fun idea.

I am going to treat myself like an avatar in a game and list off my usual items and traits.

And, yes, I am doing this because it’s a good way to combine self-deprecating humor and ego-stroking, how’d you guess?

Here we go. Continue reading

Microfiction: Medusa’s Lament

“It would be nice to take it all back, don’t you think?” she mused at the stone figure of a woman in a slip-on dress. “I mean—I didn’t quite mean for it to go so far.”

She swiveled her head toward a man with his face in a perpetual scream.

“And, you, I really did not mean for you to die. I was trying to be careful.” Continue reading

I Fucking Love Cooking

So, when writing became my job, I had to ask: “then what’s my hobby?” Well, though I am a big fan of Hearthstone and I obviously read a ton and watch many shows—when I have time to do so—if I had to pick something I consider a hobby, it would be cooking.

To not die of hunger, I must cook food anyway—or eat out at restaurants all the time, but, if that were only the case, I would not make it as complex as I do. If I was only doing it for the sake of not being a withered husk of hunger, I would not put the level of thought and effort into the foods I make. Continue reading

Flash Fiction: Poison Air

I can’t handle the smell.

“Would you please put that thing out?” I asked.

“Wish I could,” he responded, taking another puff of his cigarette. The noxious white fumes floated around in the room and had nowhere to go.  I coughed, and my lungs burned.

“You can,” I said. I held out an overused ashtray. “You just stop.”

“That’s not how addiction works,” he said, and softly shook his head. “I figured with how much coffee you suck down you’d get that.” Continue reading

Disturbing Me

To tell you the truth, I never meant to be a horror writer. Everyone knew me as the sci-fi guy; that’s where I began. But, somewhere, along the way, this became the artistic avenue I connected to the most.

I say, whenever possible, “I am a horror writer.” Because I want that to stick. I want people to get what that means, even if I am not sure, myself, what I mean.

I’ve talked, at length, about my want for and to create dark stories. I do not fully understand my proclivity, but I know it has affected me. At some point, after I’d spent a good deal of time trying to come up with horror concepts, and studying other instances of it, it became clinical. Continue reading

Flash Ficton: Some Humble Advice

That was the seventh cigarette in the last ten minutes. Yung counted. Something in him was humming, just watching Howard go through them. Yung worried somewhat—but he knew so many people that smoked, and, for some baffling reason, most of them seemed perfectly fine so far.

“Look,” Howard said, tapping away some ash, “I was just the same.”

“Yeah?” Yung asked, tilting his head. “You dealt with this too?” Continue reading

Stuff I Keep Hearing

I have bad days, sometimes. We all do. And, when I do, I try to—I don’t know—channel it toward something, at the very least. Turn sadness into anger, turn frustration into motion, somehow. It helps I walk a lot, it gives me an outlet (you really can outrun certain problems, believe it or not) but, ultimately, what makes me happy is making other people happy.

An inspiring speech, oddly, works wonders for the sake of my own morale. So, well, let’s go do such a thing, even if I’m distracted and riled up from a day that did not go as I planned. Continue reading

Microfiction: Wobbly

Along the rim, they walked, and Charles became worried about his stability. His feet were not working well, and not landing well, and not going in the exact way he would have wanted them to do so.

Sasha walked alongside him and did not seem to notice his little stutters of motion. She simply handed him another drink, something she brought with her, and he took a sip of it. It wasn’t alcohol; it tasted like water. Continue reading

Odd Stuff I’ve Said

I’m guessing some would recommend I don’t write about this, but, well, you all know I’m eccentric as it is—so, fuck it. Writers already have the stigma of being a weird bunch, but you’ve heard, likely, all the usual shenanigans—so, I’m doing you one better.

Not just researching murder methods, talking to people who they make up, or being totally willing to do dangerous/stupid things for the sake of a story: nah, I’ve got a set of much more unique quirks.

And it involves words and language. Continue reading