During the job interview, it became apparent that the applicant sitting across from Stephen was melting. Something black and syrupy was leaking from the corner of his eye and was dribbling down his chin.
It took a moment of composure, but Stephen had been interviewing people for the past ten hours and momentum got him to the next inquiry.
“So, do you have anything you’d like to ask me?”
The applicant wiped his eye and looked at his hand for too long. A thick slurry of something escaped the corner of his mouth, and he cleared his throat.
“Yes, I think I will be quite good for the position.”
“Yes, I have the necessary skills.”
“To be a food inspector?” Stephen asked, his voice somehow remaining calm.
“Yes?” the man said. Then he cleared his throat again. He looked off into the distance, considering something, then turned his gaze back to Stephen.
“You know I’m not human, don’t you?”
He sighed and ripped free the skin above his forehead. The front of his face wilted downward, a rubbery pink mass, and a black goo bubbled out from the hole. It rose under its own power and formed a facsimile of a countenance.
“I need this job,” the applicant said. “Can we please look past this?”
Stephen, despite a soft screaming that echoed in his skull, kept to professionalism befitting his position.
“Can I ask what species you are?”
“Oh, I’m from a star system that’s so far away you couldn’t fathom the concept of traveling to it.”
“Can you keep yourself from dripping on the food?”
“Yes.” The alien nodded. “Of course I can.”
Stephen pursed his lips, then shrugged. “Honestly, I’ve seen much worse today. You’re hired.”