Poem: The Wobbling

Lights are all over there.

Foggy eyes.

Warbling ear.

Am I drunk,

Or deranged? Continue reading

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Flash Fiction: Foam Sword

One could not overstate the significance of the foam sword. Perhaps, in the entire history of the room, and the house’s various occupants through the years, the foam sword was the most important thing to ever grace those four walls. For one, it tied the room together nicely; for another, it made several religions with its very presence. Continue reading

Sometimes, You’ve Just Got To Laugh

I realize this sounds pretentious, but I don’t think most people end up in the scenarios I do. And that’s sometimes a problem.

Because, advice relies upon shared experiences, and I often don’t mesh with others in that regard. So, I had to come up with a plan for when I can’t always find someone with an answer. And, well, it might not be a great long-term solution, but what I came up with is to laugh. Continue reading

Christmas Collection #5: Funniest Fiction! “Flash Fiction: Complicated And Nuanced”

(Originally posted April 2nd, 2016)


Nobody ever said creating art was easy.

A flash fiction called:

Complicated And Nuanced

“AHHHH!” the man screamed at the empty sheet of paper, making it move in a slight, wavering fashion on the mahogany wood table.

He reared back, his face taking on a bluish tinge, and he breathed in and out. The man sounded, vaguely, like a squeaky toy caught underneath a car’s tire. Continue reading

Flash Fiction: Scammy

The email looked legit.

Hello sir or madam, I am happy to inform you that you have made so many of billions of dollars. Due to a ridiculous series of tax laws and reformatting of the entire currency system, along with the rising of a dark sorcerer, you are set to receive seventeen billion dollars in the next week. We only need you to enter your bank account data to make the transaction complete. Continue reading

3 Silly Alliterations That Show How Weird The English Language Can Be

1.) “There, there. They’re there.”

Example:

I saw the girl sitting there, crying with soft sobs. My train would not arrive right away, and even if it does, I can’t let her sit all alone.

“Hey, are you alright?”

She sniffles, and moves her blond hair out of the way. “I can’t find my mom and dad.”

“What do they look like?”

“They had red sweaters on like mine. I miss them…”

She bursts into fresh tears. I frown, and look around. A few feet off in the distance, I see two adults–one man, one woman–pushing through the crowd.

Leaning down, I pat her on the head. She looks at me and I point them out.

“There, there. They’re there.” Continue reading

Philosophical Gift Baskets

So, for those of you who don’t follow me on Twitter, I somewhat recently sent out a series of themed tweets called #philosophicalgiftbaskets. In these I attempted to explain complicated philosophy via the miracle of gift baskets.

It went about as well as one could expect.

Here, are those tweets.

Welcome to Solipsism.

The gift basket does not actually exist.

#philosophicalgiftbaskets Continue reading

The Writer Fear Index: A Horrifying List Written About Horrible Things

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

Panic Level: Very Low

“Ow, ow. Ugh, I should have stretched my hands more. Dammit…now I can’t finish that fight scene. This is such a stupid first world problem.” 

Writer’s Block

Panic Level: Low

“Come on! I need to write! I didn’t make my word target today. Why does this always have to happen right in the middle of a part I was looking forward to!?” Continue reading