Trailer Time Everybody!
Only, this time I am going to try something new.
Instead of reviewing three different trailers, I’m doing one, Riff Style!
That’s right, I will be going through this second by second, and telling you my reactions.
And of course for my first time out, I chose a horror trailer. Continue reading
It was so much fun the first time, let’s do it again!
But this time around, I will be limiting myself to only Japanese cartoons; also known as anime.
Now, the nature of this list is also a bit different, because, unlike 90’s cartoons, I have not seen every show ever made. So I am working from a much smaller pool of content, and I am sure that some of the more hardcore Otakus out there will be a bit cross with me by the end of this. Continue reading
No matter how many movies you watch, there is always more.
More trailers too; so let’s give them a look.
WELCOME! To another addition of…..
TRAILER TALK!
Interesting, interesting. Not the usual thing that I would watch.
This trailer makes this movie out as some sort of mixture of James Bond, and a Nicholas Sparks book.
Think about it. An attractive man comes to a small rural town, with intent to help out a family. Learning about the issues within, and making the family stronger as a unit.
Then, terrorists attack.
DUN.DUN.DUN!
With a premises like that, it really comes down to the execution. If they can make the family feel real, if they can make us care, then they will be able to pull it off.
Alternatively, if the family is s**t, then the action needs to kick-ass.
But from the trailer, it seems like the second will be the case. I just hope that they didn’t use it all up for the trailer.
I give it a 7 out of ten. Let’s see if the next one is a bit more, original.
That was….charming. No other word for it. Just absolutely charming. Made by a group that created two of my favorite movies. I am absolutely excited for this.
The only issue, is the trailer really does not tell me anything about the story.
Sure, it shows us the wonder, and beauty of claymation, lovingly filmed and set up. The city, especially, took my breath away. But that does not guarantee a good movie. Just a pretty one.
But damn…that lovely, charming, world they created.
I give the trailer 10 out of 10. The movie however, is not going to get any good will from that.
Okay, maybe a little.
One more to go!
What the hell!
Come on people! Another Human Centipede? Really?
Well at least the villain looks actually interesting. Also completely insane.
That’s important.
You see the funny thing is that I actually was interested, until he drugged him.
Up till then, I thought he was going to reveal some monster of the lake, or something like that.
But nope, he turns people into walruses. In Canada.
I would be forgiving if this was a comedy. But guess not, it looks like they are playing it straight.
So for letting me down, completely, I am going to give it the greatest dishonor I can muster.
A 1 out of 10!
It should feel ashamed.*
Alright, well, that concludes another addition of Trailer Talk. Tune in next time!
*If the movie does turn out a comedy, then I redact my earlier insults.
Did you like the article? Dislike? Tell me about it in the comments. I would love to hear your opinions. If interested in specific articles, or want to write as a guest; you can message me at scifibrandonscott@gmail.com. Thanks for reading!
The life of a writer is complex; to survive it, you need just the right mind for the job. Able to deal with all sorts of things that other jobs/hobbies/purposes of existence, simply do not need to. There is a reason why people think writers are crazy. Just a sampling of what we deal with includes:
Two skies. One culture. I look up, and it’s a mirror.
A pool of water suspended in the sky. A person on a boat, looks up and gives me a wave. It’s beautiful, the most spectacular thing I have ever seen. The trip to Eureka was worth it just for this. The entire trip was worth it, just for this.
The shoes they had given me, kept my feet on the ground, but my soul is soaring, across the dual worlds. Continue reading
The forest was vast.
A single rabbit ran by, its mechanical eye glowing red. I watch it disappear into the brush before I continued on. Wondering, briefly, where it was headed.
The path was cobblestone, and the only noise that could be heard was my feet hitting it. By this time in my quest my shoes had become ragged, the soles worn out, and the tongue hanging out like it’s namesake.
Then, finally I came to the entrance. A simple post in the ground. I swiped the card and waited a few moments. Continue reading
You would be surprised how many parties one can find themselves in on this island. They seem to rage all night, the Lotus Eaters really do have a thing for it. It might just be because they tend to eat the guests when they are done.
Despite the danger of it, I had to be here. To even make it into the next part of the quest I would need a key card, from one of the party goers. By the end of the party it would not matter if he had it or not.
He was not paying much attention, the drinks flowed freely here. He had a pile of glass next to him, and a few of the Lotus Eaters were hanging on his arms. Giving the flesh of it a long look. A few giving glances at his neck. Continue reading
With a title like that, what could possibly go wrong?
So yeah making a list of good cartoons from the 90’s is really hard. Like stupidly hard, there was more than you could possibly shake a stick at.
Then, just to make it even harder, I decided to add cartoons from this decade as well.
It really is a cluster f*** honestly.
Yet to explain this list I have to go over a conversation that I had. Though as to not spoil anything on the list, I will refer to the cartoon as “Cartoon X” .
The conversation went as such*…. Continue reading
The planes of chaos exist, but does not have a location. It’s very nature makes it this way.
The reason I found myself in it was that it was a major shortcut. By going through here I am skipping across almost a continent of space. It was worthwhile, but incredibly dangerous.
The path I walked was the only stable thing in this dimension. The rest of the space was howling chasm, filled with random bits and bobs. A sound like that of a dying cat could be heard almost indefinitely. Continue reading
The first of my treasures I found almost by accident. I was travelling through the hall of the winds. A large chasm that is shaped in such a way that strong gust wiped down it every few minutes. My enchanted cloak did nothing to stop the force of the wind, that made every step a brutal task. The arduous journey was for but one purpose, to reach the great desert. I had heard of a long-lost circle of power, that was placed their by a wizard in white.
At this point in my walk, I was so sheltered in by my meager protective clothe, that I almost did not notice a strange fissure in the side of the rock. It gave off a comforting warmth that spread through my toes. I eagerly walked into the room pulling my face mask off and breathing in the dry air. It seemed to flow in a circular pattern, making a miniature wind storm. Continue reading
If the Hobbits can have a quest, then why can’t I?
Welcome to Netflix quest! A ten part series that will dive deep into the chasm that is the Netflix archives.
I have searched high, and I have searched low, for the greatest hidden treasures of Netflix. Battling against Orcs and the other force of darkness that would seek to keep these hidden from you. But with great bravery I managed to steal them away, so that you, the readers may bask in their golden glow. Continue reading
When I decided I was going to review movies. I realized that I would need a system. A short hand for how I would score movies I saw. That way I could give a 1-10 score within a few minutes of finishing it. It was obviously not meant to replace the critical thinking needed for reviewing. Just a tool to make my job easier.
It also serves as a good way to remember how I felt about a movie, while I was watching it. Because I can’t always write reviews within the week, or even the month I saw it.
Note that these are not a be-all, end-all method of reviewing, and some movies can be good even if they do not fit any of the categories. Though…I have never found one that does…but anything possible right?
Also these reviews are made specifically for movies. They sorta work for television series, but are not formed for that purpose.
Okay, well time to delve into my method.
Hopefully, no madness to it. Fingers crossed.
“Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.” -Winston Churchill
For each of the qualities that the movie has, it gets a point. Ten points in all. Quite an easy system really.
I hate dumb movies, our culture is already filled to the brim with stupid, shameless stuff. Honey Boo Boo, Jersey Shore, TMZ, and the Twilight movies already exist. We do not need more stuff like that. If a movie does not care about its plot or the logic of it, then why should we?
If it is a comedy, I should feel uplifted, or happy. If it is an action movie, I should feel victorious or powerful. Movies that fail to deliver on what they are supposed to, makes you feel cheated or bored.
This rule only applies to the main characters, stock characters have their purposes. But the main ones need to be good enough written to be people, not characters. It is hard to care about them if they are generic.
This one is strictly a product of this day and age. Companies are quick to make these, because they are supposedly guaranteed to make money. The movie must be better than the original for its existence to be warranted. At the very least, it must continue the story.
I hate being bored. I hate it so much. Boring movies are no fun to watch. Plain and simple.
Movies are art. Simple fact. But like all art, there are hacks. People who are in it for the money, ready to make things just for money. No creative spark to it. Any movie made this way, does not deserve to exist. I understand that people need to make a buck to live. I know that too well, but if you do not care about your story. Then it is not worth the time.
This does not mean that the movie needs to have a happy ending. Far from it, I do not think enough movies have the nerve to end unhappily, or with some level of loss. A movies ending needs to feel like an ending. That the story is done. No cliff hangers. Except for some very certain movies, an open ended ending is still a resolution. The ending of Inception is a great example of how you can have an open-ended ending and still be good.
Low budget movies get some level of forgiveness for it. But I do not want to get a headache well I am watching a movie.
This is partially just an extension of the first one. Movies need to be thought through and have internal logic. It does not have to follow real world rules, but it does have to follow its own rules.
Spoofs, send ups and tributes do not count, they are meant to be that way. But other stories need to be unique, not just the same old thing. As I said before, I hate being bored.
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So that is how I review movies. I thought that anyone who reads my reviews may want to know how I decide what I think the quality of a movie is.
Coolerbs Writes 