Fine Internet, I Like Stranger Things

Okay, you got me internet: I like Stranger Things.

Now, to add context to that statement, I only finished the show today, and I watched it over a large chunk of time (a couple of months). And I never felt the need to binge the whole thing in one marathon. I never got fanatical.

In fact, up to the last episode, I just thought it was okay. Decent.

But then…dammit, Stranger Things got me. Continue reading

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Netflix Quest #3: Torchwood

The Rift is a temporal anomaly, a rip in the fabric of the universe, where all manner of weird things can come forth: the lost, the unhinged, the trash of the multiverse.

So of course, I spill out of it, emerging– blurry eyed–in Cardiff, Wales of all places. An interesting location to be sure; having the highest concentration of aliens in the entire hemisphere being only one of its appealing qualities. But I was not here to meet the locals. No, I had eyes for only one man. A man of infamy around the bars frequented by the Judoon. A man who was known for only three things: his unstoppable libido, dashing good looks, and the strange condition of immortality. 

He’s also the only person in this century with a time machine. His is a crude device to be sure, but it was only a means to procure a more suitable ride later.

He was opposed to the idea, of course, and certainly did not appreciate me shooting him in the head. But my goal was so close now, and I was not going to let the Torchwood Institute stop me from claiming my prize.

And you thought Doctor Who was a dark show.

Continue reading

Netflix Quest: #4 Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated

Along the multiverse path there is a strange neighborhood. It is, somehow, both a pathway and a cul-de-sac. It spirals in on itself, twisting upwards into a funnel.

Trust me when I say it’s a bit hard to understand. But, thankfully, you can only see all of that if you happen to be on Soy Sauce. Or, a traveler.

I happen to be both. Continue reading

Netflix Quest: #5 John Dies at the End

I’m not a stranger to alternate dimensions.

My job is to travel. My life has become this endless walking. The universe is infinite, as is the quantity of universes.

But travel’s fast, if you jump.

A broken bridge in one reality, fixed in another.

I have seen sights that would make you go white, then turn red, then go mad. In that order.

That’s just the nature of the Multiverse.

But today, I was not on some astral plane of higher reason, nor was I swinging through the jungles of the lava shrimp. I wasn’t even on the planet of Victoria Secret models.

No, today I was on earth. The usual earth, the one you know. The one you just thought of when you read this.

But something was different, you see. The old world, but through a new filter. No, not color, but a new layer. The things that existed on too high a plane, or too low, for us to notice. They all clearly stood, walking among you, running their fingers through people’s hair; cursing them with gingivitis, and milk-mustaches.

I was running on Soy Sauce you see.

And that s**t hits you hard. Continue reading

Netflix Quest: #6 Upside Down

Two skies. One culture. I look up, and it’s a mirror.

A pool of water suspended in the sky. A person on a boat, looks up and gives me a wave. It’s beautiful, the most spectacular thing I have ever seen. The trip to Eureka was worth it just for this. The entire trip was worth it, just for this.

The shoes they had given me, kept my feet on the ground, but my soul is soaring, across the dual worlds. Continue reading

Netflix Quest: #7 Eureka

The forest was vast.

A single rabbit ran by, its mechanical eye glowing red. I watch it disappear into the brush before I continued on. Wondering, briefly, where it was headed.

The path was cobblestone, and the only noise that could be heard was my feet hitting it. By this time in my quest my shoes had become ragged, the soles worn out, and the tongue hanging out like it’s namesake.

Then, finally I came to the entrance. A simple post in the ground. I swiped the card and waited a few moments. Continue reading

Netflix Quest: #8. Chuck

You would be surprised how many parties one can find themselves in on this island. They seem to rage all night, the Lotus Eaters really do have a thing for it. It might just be because they tend to eat the guests when they are done.

Despite the danger of it, I had to be here. To even make it into the next part of the quest I would need a key card, from one of the party goers. By the end of the party it would not matter if he had it or not.

He was not paying much attention, the drinks flowed freely here. He had a pile of glass next to him, and a few of the Lotus Eaters were hanging on his arms. Giving the flesh of it a long look. A few giving glances at his neck. Continue reading

Netflix Quest: #9. Rubber

The planes of chaos exist, but does not have a location. It’s very nature makes it this way.

The reason I found myself in it was that it was a major shortcut. By going through here I am skipping across almost a continent of space. It was worthwhile, but incredibly dangerous.

The path I walked was the only stable thing in this dimension. The rest of the space was howling chasm, filled with random bits and bobs. A sound like that of a dying cat could be heard almost indefinitely.  Continue reading

Netflix Quest: #10. Samurai Jack

The first of my treasures I found almost by accident. I was travelling through the hall of the winds. A large chasm that is shaped in such a way that strong gust wiped down it every few minutes. My enchanted cloak did nothing to stop the force of the wind, that made every step a brutal task. The arduous journey was for but one purpose, to reach the great desert. I had heard of a long-lost circle of power, that was placed their by a wizard in white.

At this point in my walk, I was so sheltered in by my meager protective clothe, that I almost did not notice a strange fissure in the side of the rock. It gave off a comforting warmth that spread through my toes. I eagerly walked into the room pulling my face mask off and breathing in the dry air. It seemed to flow in a circular pattern, making a miniature wind storm. Continue reading

Netflix Quest: Introduction

If the Hobbits can have a quest, then why can’t I?

Welcome to Netflix quest! A ten part series that will dive deep into the chasm that is the Netflix archives.

I have searched high, and I have searched low, for the greatest hidden treasures of Netflix. Battling against Orcs and the other force of darkness that would seek to keep these hidden from you. But with great bravery I managed to steal them away, so that you, the readers may bask in their golden glow. Continue reading