Netflix Quest: #5 John Dies at the End

I’m not a stranger to alternate dimensions.

My job is to travel. My life has become this endless walking. The universe is infinite, as is the quantity of universes.

But travel’s fast, if you jump.

A broken bridge in one reality, fixed in another.

I have seen sights that would make you go white, then turn red, then go mad. In that order.

That’s just the nature of the Multiverse.

But today, I was not on some astral plane of higher reason, nor was I swinging through the jungles of the lava shrimp. I wasn’t even on the planet of Victoria Secret models.

No, today I was on earth. The usual earth, the one you know. The one you just thought of when you read this.

But something was different, you see. The old world, but through a new filter. No, not color, but a new layer. The things that existed on too high a plane, or too low, for us to notice. They all clearly stood, walking among you, running their fingers through people’s hair; cursing them with gingivitis, and milk-mustaches.

I was running on Soy Sauce you see.

And that s**t hits you hard.

This, my friends, is what Doctor Who would look like if it came from America.

A trippy mash-up of time travel, reality warping high-jinks, and profound questions.

It revolves around two friend who are entirely too self-aware to exist, who while at a party, come into contact with a drug called Soy Sauce. A drug that peels back reality, rolls it up into a newspaper, and lobotomizes you with it. Presented with low quality animation, and strange puppets.

Did I mention this is an indie movie?

It had to be, no marketing person, ever, would allow this to be made. It is just too odd.

During the course of this movie a doorknob turns into male genitals, a monster made of meat dies via a phone call, and a man gets an ax fixed. All in the first half-hour.

“How is that enjoyable?” You might find yourself asking. The real question, however, is how could you not enjoy it?

I actually can’t tell you much more about it, beyond that.

This is an experience. A head-f*** of completely unheard proportions. Once you think you understand the rules of the movie, then it will switch it up on you. If you think it’s trying to be funny, then you’re wrong. If you think it’s serious, then you are definitely wrong.

The film can be best described as science fiction combined with a horror movie, but not a science-fiction horror movie. It jumps from scientific concepts (usually pseudo-science) and then goes into splattering gore, and monsters.

It is very often jarring to watch, and seems to switch tones every five minutes.

Honestly, if it was not such a slick, insane, piece of work, I would not recommend it. It takes a lot of work to make a truly manic movie not become exhausting after the first twenty minutes. (For a crash course on how not to do that, watch the Total Recall remake).

But the creators pull it off, giving the audience quiet moments that let them breathe.

Then breaks out the leeches.

The one bad thing about it however, is ironically, the ending.

But sadly, I’m not allowed to spoil it. The trailer told me not to.

It is such a well-hidden twist, really. I would feel bad if I told you the ending.

I promise you that it’s not obvious.

After all, who knows what could happen at the end of “John Dies at the End”?

Camel Holocaust maybe?

This is but one part of the grand Netflix Quest! To check out the others, click here.

Did you like the article? Dislike? Tell me about it in the comments. I would love to hear your opinions. If interested in specific articles, or want to write as a guest; you can message me at Thanks for reading!


3 thoughts on “Netflix Quest: #5 John Dies at the End

  1. Pingback: Netflix Quest: #4 Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated | Coolerbs Reviews
  2. Pingback: Trailer Talk: 11/1/14 | Coolerbs Reviews
  3. Pingback: Netflix Quest: Introduction | Coolerbs Reviews

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