(Originally posted November 7, 2018)

To those that see a painting in twilight skies.

To those who pour out their heart because they need someone to understand.

To those that push themselves harder—harder—harder, until they find a new way. Continue reading →

(Originally posted September 8, 2018)

“I mean, play along. How many was that?”

Brian put the white ceramic mug to his lips and sucked down more of the cheap coffee. His sister watched him for a moment, then rolled her eyes.

“It’s four, right?” she asked.

Brian flicked out his finger. “Ding, ding.” Continue reading →

(Originally posted June 23, 2018)

They walked on the roads, because past midnight, in that sleepy town, no one, not the cops, not the neighbors, would be out and about. Sure, the occasional screen, the occasional person driving along would be there, but, for the most part, the town may as well not have been in existence.

“Is it pretentious if I say—?”

“Yes.”

Howard laughed. “You didn’t let me finish.” Continue reading →

(Originally posted October 22, 2016)

The email looked legit.

Hello sir or madam, I am happy to inform you that you have made so many of billions of dollars. Due to a ridiculous series of tax laws and reformatting of the entire currency system, along with the rising of a dark sorcerer, you are set to receive seventeen billion dollars in the next week. We only need you to enter your bank account data to make the transaction complete.

I mean, how tempting was that? Just a quick share of personal matters, and I would be a billionaire. But I had to check. I had to be sure.

Hello,

I am a sir, just FYI. And while I have no reason to doubt your incredibly generous offer (like, seriously dude, I am so glad you sent this email), I do need to confirm something with you before we go forward with this financial action.

I only had to wait about six hours for the response to come back. The email contained a lot of internet links I could check out and click. But, I had to stay focused. So, I sent back an email without opening any of the links.

His read like this:

HELLO SIR!

 Yes, whatever you need to know, do not hesitate to ask. But please, let’s make this as quick as possible. A deal like this, especially with such circumstances, could change around at any time. We need to transfer the cash in the next few hours to avoid you losing the opportunity.

I responded with this:

Hi,

Okay, I understand the urgency. I just need to know how you came to hear about this large financial turnaround.

The reply came within minutes.

Hello sir,

We are in the unique position of being connected to a man who spies on the royal magical network (do not worry if you have never heard of such a group. The secret is heavily defended.) And he has informed us of where the money is, and how to best go about transferring it out of the clutches of this evil fiend. All we need is your info.

Excitement flew through my veins as I sent out all the relevant data they needed. My palms sweated, and I waited for the first of the money to come. But, to my disappointment, they tricked me. The liars.

I mean, fifty million total? Only that?! And it took a whole month. Come on! They were absolute scam artists. And, if I were ever to meet them, they are not allowed on my yacht.

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The Christmas Collection Continues Tomorrow, And Every Day Up To And Including Christmas Day! So Stay Tuned To Coolerbs Writes!  

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Special thanks to: Bob Gerkin, Collin Pearman, Dylan Alexander, Jerry Banfield, and Michael The Comic Nerd. 

Did you like the article? Dislike? Tell me about it in the comments. I would love to hear your opinions! If interested in specific articles, or want to write as a guest, you can message me at scifibrandonscott@gmail.com. If you want to help keep this blog going, consider becoming my patron at https://www.patreon.com/coolerbs. Thanks for reading!

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Want to read something longer by me? How about a whole novel! 

“Just Another Chosen One is a blisteringly paced, action-soaked debut from author Brandon Scott, sure to appeal to those who’ve gotten tired of reading the same old stories about the child of prophecy destined to save the world.” 

(Originally posted September 13, 2017)

I don’t know of many creatives without some odd habits. And, with me, the most prominent and noticeable ones are my night owl tendencies and my relationship with jackets. I’ve talked about the night and my place in it before, but I’ve barely, if at all, discussed my jacket fixation, and I think it’s about time I fix that oversight. Because I goddamn love jackets. If I could comfortably sleep in a jacket I would—and don’t think I haven’t tried. Continue reading →

(Originally posted September 12, 2018)

I don’t really know the age group that reads my posts. But, in case you are a young person like me—and you feel stressed out and worried and anxious about your future—I have something to tell you.

People have no idea what they are doing. Continue reading →

(Originally posted September 30, 2017)

One could not overstate the significance of the foam sword. Perhaps, in the entire history of the room, and the house’s various occupants through the years, the foam sword was the most important thing to ever grace those four walls. For one, it tied the room together nicely; for another, it made several religions with its very presence.

The owners of the house, a Mr. and Mrs. Spelling, were the first to become aware of the foam sword. They found it in the center of the guest room, sitting on the floor, and radiating off immeasurable glory. Continue reading →

(Originally posted September 26, 2018)

As a nerd, and a “scholar of life” (if I may finally, finally reach peak pretentiousness), I’ve learned an important lesson for people—and artists especially.

And, before I go forward, a warning: It’s hard to apply.

Really fucking hard.

But, it’s also an admired quality. Continue reading →

(Originally posted April 28, 2018)

“We are not real living beings, you know,” Caffeine said, then jerked his head to the side, looking at the door to the room.

“Yeah—but it doesn’t much matter. It’s nice being as we are, at least,” Alcohol said, and sat down on his chair. He stared up at the other two and smiled goofily.

“It matters a little bit,” Nicotine said, parting back his ginger hair. “I, for one, like to be flesh.” Continue reading →

(Originally posted April 2, 2016)

“AHHHH!” the man screamed at the empty sheet of paper, making it move in a slight, wavering fashion on the mahogany wood table.

He reared back, his face taking on a bluish tinge, and he breathed in and out. The man sounded, vaguely, like a squeaky toy caught underneath a car’s tire.

He put his hands on his knees and leaned back down once he could breathe again. His face, his skin, now so close to the white paper that the moisture stained. Continue reading →

(Originally posted February 6, 2016)

The pond ripples underneath my fingertips, and my face sputters into a mess of stretching lines and round curves. And it spreads across the entire pond, in however small a way. I take a drop and smear it across my forehead, and it feels cold with the summer heat.

It’s tempting to plunge my entire hand into the froth, and feel the strains against my skin, but I can’t, not here, not now. Continue reading →

(Originally posted November 4, 2015)

So, for those of you who don’t follow me on Twitter, I somewhat recently sent out a series of themed tweets called #philosophicalgiftbaskets. In these I attempted to explain complicated philosophy via the miracle of gift baskets.

It went about as well as one could expect.

Here, are those tweets.

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Welcome to Solipsism.

The gift basket does not actually exist.

#philosophicalgiftbaskets Continue reading →