(Originally posted October 22, 2016)
The email looked legit.
Hello sir or madam, I am happy to inform you that you have made so many of billions of dollars. Due to a ridiculous series of tax laws and reformatting of the entire currency system, along with the rising of a dark sorcerer, you are set to receive seventeen billion dollars in the next week. We only need you to enter your bank account data to make the transaction complete.
I mean, how tempting was that? Just a quick share of personal matters, and I would be a billionaire. But I had to check. I had to be sure.
I am a sir, just FYI. And while I have no reason to doubt your incredibly generous offer (like, seriously dude, I am so glad you sent this email), I do need to confirm something with you before we go forward with this financial action.
I only had to wait about six hours for the response to come back. The email contained a lot of internet links I could check out and click. But, I had to stay focused. So, I sent back an email without opening any of the links.
His read like this:
Yes, whatever you need to know, do not hesitate to ask. But please, let’s make this as quick as possible. A deal like this, especially with such circumstances, could change around at any time. We need to transfer the cash in the next few hours to avoid you losing the opportunity.
I responded with this:
Okay, I understand the urgency. I just need to know how you came to hear about this large financial turnaround.
The reply came within minutes.
We are in the unique position of being connected to a man who spies on the royal magical network (do not worry if you have never heard of such a group. The secret is heavily defended.) And he has informed us of where the money is, and how to best go about transferring it out of the clutches of this evil fiend. All we need is your info.
Excitement flew through my veins as I sent out all the relevant data they needed. My palms sweated, and I waited for the first of the money to come. But, to my disappointment, they tricked me. The liars.
I mean, fifty million total? Only that?! And it took a whole month. Come on! They were absolute scam artists. And, if I were ever to meet them, they are not allowed on my yacht.
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