I’m not a stranger to alternate dimensions.

My job is to travel. My life has become this endless walking. The universe is infinite, as is the quantity of universes.

But travel’s fast, if you jump.

A broken bridge in one reality, fixed in another.

I have seen sights that would make you go white, then turn red, then go mad. In that order.

That’s just the nature of the Multiverse.

But today, I was not on some astral plane of higher reason, nor was I swinging through the jungles of the lava shrimp. I wasn’t even on the planet of Victoria Secret models.

No, today I was on earth. The usual earth, the one you know. The one you just thought of when you read this.

But something was different, you see. The old world, but through a new filter. No, not color, but a new layer. The things that existed on too high a plane, or too low, for us to notice. They all clearly stood, walking among you, running their fingers through people’s hair; cursing them with gingivitis, and milk-mustaches.

I was running on Soy Sauce you see.

And that s**t hits you hard. Continue reading →