Trailer Talk: An Analysis of “Ouija”

It’s a real shame I already reviewed Annebelle, because that would have been perfect for the month of October.

But that’s just another great thing about Halloween, the horror movies do not stop, till the month is done.

So, in the spirit of the holidays (pun totally intended) I am going to do another analysis,

A play-by-play of my reactions; if you will.

So let’s take a look at the latest ghost story that Hollywood has to serve up.

0:07: Huh, nice house

0:12: Yeah, you go have fun, I’ll just be here. Dying horribly.

0:15: The door crept open on its own. The only solution: Go Upstairs to investigate!

0:17: Also, just leave all your lights off in the house as you search. It seems like a fantastic plan.

0:18: Except that bedroom, that needs to stay on at all times. Electrical costs be damned.

0:19: Whew, she nearly broke the glass. That would have been a short movie.

0:24: Why Christmas lights? Also, why where there Christmas lights in that bedroom in the first place?

0:26: Boy, that escalated quickly.

0:33: That is an oddly specific question…but uhh…sure.

0:37: Let me guess, the store they bought that from disappeared the next day?

0:39: How to make it seem more credible? Show stock images of course!

0:41: Does there always have to be evil child laughter in every horror movie trailer?

0:43: Why do they never listen to the cautious one?.

0:46: Because floating table have so much to do with this….

0:49: Also, creepy rhythms, that they just know, for some reason.

0:59: You hear a noise, so your first instinct is to look at the ceiling? I would probably check the door, personally.

1:03: You just keep telling yourself that.

1:11: Either one of you is lying, or crazy, or both. Or ghosts. It’s probably ghosts.

1:13: Oh it’s Casper, good everything will be finnnnnneeeee.

1:17: Yes, we have spotted the perpetrators. We got, five, maybe six acts of breaking and entering.

1:18: Remake? Or original? Probably remake. Great.

1:22: I can’t hear you. You message is unnecessarily stuttering.

1:26: Like moving Christmas lights for instance. Also, weird lighting issues were absolute dark does not, at all, restrict sight.

1:28: So how did you get it from a store?

1:32: Damn kids, always creepily chuckling on set.

1:35: Hi! You misspelled “Friend”

1:38: Okay here’s the plan. Open the door, then quickly close it. Brilliant, that’ll scare them for sure.

1:42: I don’t think you know how to use floss there….I think you’re doing it wrong.

1:45: When will people stop ripping off Poltergeist?

1:51: MY HAIR CUT LOOKS TERRIBLE!!!

1:55: Game? It’s not a board game. It’s for summoning spirits from Hell. Not chutes and ladders

2:01: A doll. Again? Paint by number plot, damn.

2:11: So the ghost just moved the chair, then walked over to the corner of the room? Just so she could run at them? These ghosts are bad at their jobs.

2:12: Someone needs to shave their hands.

2:17: When were you playing? The whole time you guys seemed pretty serious.

2:22: She dies first. Calling it. Okay the eyes rolling up into her head was the scariest part of the whole thing.

Well, that was another trailer, and what did you guys think of it? It looks pretty bad to me. Not really all that scary, and unlike Annabelle, the suspense was not as well-built up. I admit that as I type this, I am a bit freaked out thou. So perhaps as a whole, the trailer does build a sense of dread. So, I’ll give it a 5 out of ten.

So  with that done, I end this trailer talk. But be wary, this is not the last horror movie of the season, and I plan to face whatever trailer rears its monstrous horror-head!

But that, is another article.

See you next time!

Did you like the article? Dislike? Tell me about it in the comments. I would love to hear your opinions. If interested in specific articles, or want to write as a guest; you can message me at scifibrandonscott@gmail.com. Thanks for reading!

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