I refer to myself as a “workaholic” because of one annoying tendency I have: it’s hard for me to just have free time. Being my own boss taught me to force myself to work, and work, and work, and then some more. Even if I’m working on personal projects, and not for any of my clients—it changes little.
On the outside, this is not apparent. I have been called “pretty chill” by someone who has been around me for smaller periods of time. I give off an aura of being calm, sort-of bored, and reserved if they catch me at the right times.
But, on the inside, it’s often a little hard for me to accept my own procrastination. Sure, this is likely a common enough problem—especially for creatives who are also self-employed—but I get so down on myself for taking off time for stuff. I tend to work in shifts and bursts, and I tend to put off some of my daily actions until late in the night.
And, sure, with that last statement, it might not seem like “workaholic” is the best label. But, like most mental things, it’s not that simplistic. I both feel a constant need to get more and more done, start and finish more projects, and a strong desire to just chill out, just sit for a second.
I suppose it’s simply a byproduct of my lifestyle—of what I tend to do. I work mostly at night, and I drink a lot of coffee, and I am a huge fan of a lot of types of media and art and games. And, because they are all tied together, it always feels like I am kind of working. Every movie I watch can be a review, after all. Same with every television show.
I also tend to try to monetize my hobbies. If I am playing a card game, I wonder if I could earn enough prizes to sell off rare cards for a profit.
Writing used to be my hobby.
Now, of course, I don’t have a solution—and I wasn’t expecting to find one here as I write this. All I am sure of is I am a lazy person who also happens to like getting lots of stuff done. Perhaps the best way to say it is that I am a workaholic 50% of the time. I can spend feverish hours of work getting a shit-ton finished, so I don’t have to do much for the next few days.
And, I guess that works for me.
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Special thanks to: Bob Gerkin, Collin Pearman, Dylan Alexander, Jerry Banfield, and Michael The Comic Nerd.
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Want to read something longer by me? How about a whole novel!
