I live in Florida, so you’d think I would be used to this. But wow, it’s so very hot outside.
For those that do not live here, and have not visited, Florida has a wet heat. It’s like walking in a thick soup that sticks to your skin. When I was in Illinois for a few weeks, coming back felt—and I mean this was eerily accurate—like being slapped in the face with a wet towel when the elevator doors opened. Continue reading
Non-Florida natives, if you visit here, you will run into two critters. The first ones are fun. We call them geckos, but that might not be accurate terminology. They are lizards, most about the size of your finger, that climb up walls, hang out by lights, and will try to sneak into your house if they get the chance. Continue reading
Avoid the sun if you can,
It will bake us all if it could,
It beams down from on-high,
And slicks the sweat across our skin.
Continue readingAlright, my readers, time for a little complaining. Time to bitch about something for your amusement—and perhaps catharsis. Don’t take this too seriously: I’m only venting. It’s all in good fun.
Okay?
Everyone on board?
Okay good.
Fuck summer. Continue reading
Are you shivering when it’s about sixty degrees? Is it possible to work up a good sweat just by walking outside on Christmas Eve? Do you have no concept of how much it is snowing in other states?
Yes?
Well then, you’re ready for Christmas in Florida. Continue reading
Hey guys…so, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Florida is getting hit by a massive hurricane. I had an article written, but now the apocalypse (joking) is coming, and I don’t have any time to edit it at the moment.
I’ll see if I can get the Saturday story up in time, but, for now–I have to go hide. Hope you have a nice (and safe) day!
Brandon Scott out. Continue reading
No monsters. No demons. No evil.
Sometimes even I need to just write a tiny, funny story. I call it:
Well see, here was the problem. I didn’t want to tell her. I didn’t know how she’d take it. She was going to freak out.
She needed to know though. I would want to know if I was in her shoes.
“Don’t move,” I said.
So, of course, she moved a step across the kitchen floor. I followed her, sliding to her side, and continued to track with my eyes. Continue reading
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