Microfiction: Soldier

Another microfiction, submitted for your approval.

A tale of guilt, called:

Soldier

The problem with the dead is that they can’t tell us how it felt.

Smoke, mortars, shells, bullets, blood. They mean nothing to him now. He’s gone.

Did it hurt? People assume that there must be a last burst of searing pain. But how can we be sure? What if his soul had been severed at the same time his frontal lobe was? Perhaps it was painless.

Perhaps his killer was less guilty. Could he move past this? Maybe forget that face? That blood soaked smear that was his head? One that had smiled, ate, kissed?

Not a chance. Not a chance in fucking hell.

Did you like the article? Dislike? Tell me about it in the comments. I would love to hear your opinions. If interested in specific articles, or want to write as a guest; you can message me at scifibrandonscott@gmail.com. Thanks for reading!

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4 thoughts on “Microfiction: Soldier

  1. Pingback: Why I Write Dark Things | Coolerbs Reviews
  2. At first I was disorientated and confused. Then I kept reading and reading and I started to see why you put this as Microfiction instead of a Vignette. I love your last line, and I think that’s where everything ties together. One gets a chance to see the anger and fury that’s building up inside the main character, over the death of ‘him’. There’s all the beginnings of a sweet little redemption/vengeance story.

    Yet I much prefer to read it without reference to a plot, simply as a series of questions and statements. It is here I think, that your last line really starts to stand out and where this piece gets ‘mined out’ for what it’s worth. It sort of answers all of the questions and reinforces the statements.

    ‘The problem with the dead is that they can’t tell us how it felt’. “Not a chance. Not a chance in fucking hell”. Here, a reinforcement and a sort of book end of the beginning.

    ‘Did it hurt?’ “Not a chance. Not a chance in fucking hell.”, which of course may contradict with ‘Perhaps it was painless,’ and ‘Not a chance. Not a chance in fucking hell’

    And so on and so forth for all the sentences.

    I think that kind of adds to the flavour of war. Kind of confusing, disorientating, revenge inducing, question begging, and really just an all around emotional roller-coaster ride. Sure, that probably wasn’t what you were going for, but then again, I write to portray emotions, not any one story, and I think your one line ties all the elements up nicely.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Your interpretation is just as valid as mine. I’m a firm believer in “death of the author”.

        Thank you for the kind words. I really appreciate how much thought you put into the things I write. I think I said that last time we spoke, but it’s still true.

        I really like that last line too. It was not originally going to be, but once I put it down I just could not write anymore. It just felt like that’s how it should end.

        Liked by 1 person

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