I don’t eat a lot of things. I have a series of complex and intricate rules regarding what I can eat, when I can eat it, and in what quantity. And, as such, it can make eating out—eating at fast-food joints—especially hard.
But, I do have some workarounds.
The goal is to, first and foremost, avoid bread and sugar. “Bowl” options are your friend: you can skip the bread entirely. More and more restaurants offer this. Barring that: take out cheese and don’t get soda or fries. You can ask for extra meat, or an extra patty if you feel like it may not be enough food.
You’d be amazed how much low-calorie food you can eke out of certain restaurants.
But, if you want to go even lower calories—I have a plan for that too.
The name of the game is salads.
Due to a few health crises in America, you can get a salad at pretty much anywhere—and some of them are damn good. Any Greek restaurant should be able to pile chicken or gyro meat unto a salad for a fee, and that’s a meal right there. Hell, for smaller eaters, it might be more than one meal’s worth.
It may not sound like “fun.” But it tastes good enough and doesn’t make someone feel like shit afterward. Losing weight is not easy—trust me, I know—but it’s not impossible to eat fast food, and still lose weight.
I’m not a dietician, so my advice needs that grain of salt, but, in my experience, there’s always a workaround. Picking a burger patty out of a burger is usually an option if you don’t get it with cheese. Water is available pretty much anywhere.
Realistically, a meal lasts how long? Twenty minutes? How much time does a taste linger on a tongue? Compared to how long a stomach ache can last, I’m pretty sure it’s not worth it.
I wish we lived in a world where this was not a problem, but, unfortunately, cheap and healthy food is a major rarity, so you’ve got to make it healthy yourself.
I’m rooting for you.
Special thanks to: Bob Gerkin, Collin Pearman, Dylan Alexander, Jerry Banfield, and Michael The Comic Nerd.
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