No one told me that publishing was a drug that had a high and a crash. That would have been nice to know before it happened. I was, and still kind of am, the moodiest version of myself I have been in a long time.

And, really, I should have seen this coming. I should have seen all of this coming. I threw all of myself into making the deadline for this thing. At the peak, I had five shots of espresso over the course of a single day.

It was fucking madness.

But, I did it. I made it happen—and my book is out and in the world.

But, I’m empty now. I did my quest; I adventured forth and made it all happen. And, coming back to the world of before turns out boring.

I even went online to check if this was a common thing.

It is.

If this article serves any purpose beyond babbling, it would be to prepare any soon-to-be authors out there for the aftermath of the thing you’ve been working so hard for so long to achieve.

No hyperbole: the high’s plunge is devastating.

And, the only way out, the only way forward, is to have another project going as fast as possible. To do another deep dive and start back at the beginning.

And, so, that’s what I am doing. I’m going back to the early editing stage, working on something I wrote ages ago and seeing if I can bring myself out of this funk.

I got to see a printed copy of my book, hold it in my hands, and, yet, the happy pop of energy did not last like I would have thought. Knowing people bought my book, are reading my book, are experiencing my art—shouldn’t that make me happier than just an occasional general light pleasantness?

You’d think.

But, it turns out, in addition to caffeine, I am now addicted to publishing, and I must start all over to chase that rush again.

—

Special thanks to: Bob Gerkin, Collin Pearman, Dylan Alexander, Jerry Banfield, and Michael The Comic Nerd. 

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