Eric could not understand why no one had considered dipping potato chips in ketchup. They were essentially French fries, so there was not much a difference in flavor, not much of an issue—so why didn’t more people do it?

“What, do you love her?” Fae demanded, spreading out her arms. “Do you want to fuck her, huh? Have her over and let her sleep in my spot?”

Trevor reared back at the verbal assault. “No, no, of course not. What the fuck is wrong with you?! I only said she looked nice in that dress at the wedding. That’s nothing!”

“I saw how you looked at her,” Fae said, her voice coming out as a bitter whisper. “I saw the way you ogled her ass.”

Eric took a nice large chip and placed it on his tongue. The salt made the skin almost prickle. The ridges were pleasant, an interesting sensation—something better than the usual gruel. He let his saliva break it down somewhat before easily snapping it with his tongue.

“Her…I am…no! You know what? I saw the way you looked at the fucking groom. Do you think it didn’t hurt every second, knowing you dated that slime?”

“Slime?!”

“Yes, I said slime. And the fact you are protecting him is just more proof. Who here has cheated before, you ass. Who here did you betray!?”

Eric picked up his next chip and bit at the edge, nibbling at it slowly, seeing how long he could keep the snack from losing its structure and crumbling. Halfway through, a slight miscalculation broke it and sent the crumbs cascading on his chest. He glanced down and frowned before brushing it away.

“I didn’t. Look, you fuck…I mean…” Fae, sighed and wiped at her eyes. “I mean…shit. I don’t want to fight you, okay? I don’t want to do this. It just doesn’t feel like you…you know—want me anymore?”

Trevor stopped in his tracks, several possible lines of argumentative conversation spiraling into nothing at all. He could not…he had no idea what to do with that information. All it did was make him pause until his face softened.

“Oh…no, I’m sorry. No—I get it. That’s…I’m sorry, I’ve been—it’s been busy. I get that’s not an excuse.”

Trevor let out a sigh and his frame slightly quivered.

“Just come here,” he said and held open his arms.

Fae sniffled and stepped into his embrace. Tears moved down in twin lines on her tan skin. Soon enough, something passed between them. She lifted her head, and he lowered his.

The kiss went deeper than perhaps either of them intended, and she took a step into him. And his hands moved around tighter on her. She did the same. For a second, they broke apart and stared.

Fae gave a small nod, Trevor a smile.

Then, a crunch.

They both swiveled their head toward the kitchen, looking confused. Until the potato chip hovered up from it bag toward something invisible and broke apart into an equally unseen mouth. Then they looked terrified.

“Oh,” Eric said. “Crap…um…I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Fae and Trevor screamed and ran out of the room. Trevor going for a baseball bat, and Fae going for the phone.

“I really should eat before I do this,” Eric muttered to himself.

—

Special thanks to: Bob Gerkin, Collin Pearman, Dylan Alexander, Jerry Banfield, and Michael The Comic Nerd. 

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