1.) “There, there. They’re there.”

Example:

I saw the girl sitting there, crying with soft sobs. My train would not arrive right away, and even if it does, I can’t let her sit all alone.

“Hey, are you alright?”

She sniffles, and moves her blond hair out of the way. “I can’t find my mom and dad.”

“What do they look like?”

“They had red sweaters on like mine. I miss them…”

She bursts into fresh tears. I frown, and look around. A few feet off in the distance, I see two adults–one man, one woman–pushing through the crowd.

Leaning down, I pat her on the head. She looks at me and I point them out.

“There, there. They’re there.”

2.) Aye, aye, I eye I.

Example:

There is a pirate in my bathroom. I was brushing my teeth, there was a flash of neon yellow light, and now he’s here. He smells three times as worse as you assume.

“Oh, mate. Why they two of you? You twins? Bad luck twins.”

“Ah, no. That’s a mirror.”

He steps over towards it, inspecting the cut of glass. The sword on his hip swings uncomfortably close to my toweled lower body.

Hoping my voice doesn’t sound too nervous, I chime in behind him. “Look at it, it’s your reflection now.”

He takes his pinkie finger and starts picking at his teeth.

“Aye, aye. I eye I.”

3.) I am a minor, minor, miner.

Example:

“What the hell is a kid doing in here?”

“I came here to work, sir.”

“How old are you?”

“Sixteen, sir. I just got off basic training.”

“I don’t care what training you had. These mines will kill a boy like you for the slightest mistake.”

“Don’t worry, sir. I’m prepared.  I am a minor, minor, miner.”

—

Special thanks to: Bob Gerkin, Collin Pearman, Dylan Alexander, Jerry Banfield, Michael The Comic Nerd, Pulsatilla Pratensis, SuperGoof Media, and Zeony.

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